tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7612847696592513298.post4614661691002696612..comments2024-01-23T04:15:49.297-06:00Comments on Brink's Chaos Theory: Helbrute: "Hunted" (part 5 of 7)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12035715759626775321noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7612847696592513298.post-75856574113562263222014-04-29T20:33:27.063-05:002014-04-29T20:33:27.063-05:00Thanks for the feedback, Thor. Maybe it would hav...Thanks for the feedback, Thor. Maybe it would have helped to make it a separate scene, do a little scene break around it? I've made that change. Hopefully it'll help clear up the confusion. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12035715759626775321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7612847696592513298.post-2764943631550533982014-04-29T13:34:23.674-05:002014-04-29T13:34:23.674-05:00I could see why you did it, not faulting you there...I could see why you did it, not faulting you there, but I did have to double check to make sure I was reading a past event :)Thorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04437070475561268098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7612847696592513298.post-31057307482014747712014-04-29T11:59:14.811-05:002014-04-29T11:59:14.811-05:00Thanks! Yeah, I started out in past perfect but h...Thanks! Yeah, I started out in past perfect but having an entire scene with every verb beginning in "had this" and "had that" got tiring to read. Technically correct, though, you're right. :) Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12035715759626775321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7612847696592513298.post-71550405807761154122014-04-29T11:42:57.177-05:002014-04-29T11:42:57.177-05:00Great job. Can't wait to see how this all play...Great job. Can't wait to see how this all plays out.<br /><br />My only criticism is when Volstag remembers back to the events that put him in his situation it's not entirely clear because you're using simple past instead of past perfect.Thorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04437070475561268098noreply@blogger.com