Like most other writers, I am
not confident in my blurb-writing ability.
“Blurb,” for those of you who
might not know, refers to the little description of a book or story that you
read on the ebook site or the back of the book.
It’s the “sales copy,” the brief squirt of information that tells you
what the book is about, just enough to get you interested without ruining the
whole story for you. And it’s hard to
do.
So taking a page from these notes on the subject, I’ve been reworking some of my own. The main principle I’ve been in serious
violation of has been don’t give away the
whole plot. After all, what’s the
fun reading something if you already know what’s going to happen. It’s like reading a story about the Titanic; you know how it’s going to end.
I’ve come up with a loose
structure now that I’m trying out, based on DWS’s examples. Though contrary his form, I’ve added taglines
to the beginning. Something to catch
your attention, like on a movie poster; some bite-sized, quick-to-sample bait
that gets the reader to the next paragraph.
Hopefully it works.
So my experimental structure
is kind of like this:
1. Tagline. (If I have one
worth trying. If not, skip it.)
2. Character/world intro. (Along
with the cover, also points to the genre.)
3. Introduce plotline/conflict,
but only up to the first page/chapter.
4. Raise the
stakes/cliffhanger (if not done in #3) or give additional incentive to read
this.
Each of these should be kept
short, so the whole thing is short. For
Smashwords, you also have to provide a 400 character version, which is damn
good practice for keeping it brief, and I use the same blurb in my back-of-book
Fugitive Fiction Library listings. I have
read some advice from one online market saying that the more you give in your
description, the better. But that’s
contrary to what DWS and others are saying, and I tend to agree with them. I think the blurb should be short, easy to
digest, and just offer enough to pique a reader’s interest.
Applying these new
principles, here’s a few of revamps.
The Thorne Legacy
He'll be
court-martialed. If he lives that long.
Corporal Cranston Thorne is
the black sheep of the family and about to be kicked out of System Guard for
his selfish and reckless behavior.
His father, Captain Thanos
Thorne, would like nothing more than to see that happen. Unfortunately, he can’t stay for the
trial. A remote outpost at the edge of
the system has gone silent and he must take the fleet out to investigate.
The real danger, however, isn’t
at the edge of the system...
A Writers of the Future
contest finalist.
Tarnish
Being a hero isn’t as easy as the
tavern tales would have you believe.
Billy Cole has always been a quick
study, be it at telling tales, brewing ale, or swordplay.
And yet it surprises Wil
Thunderstrike, his alter ego, at just how hard and fast the lessons come on his
first venture into the real world of back-alley thieves, traveling
talespinners, and warriors of renown.
Wil’s quest is to find epic heroes
to save his home town, but it'll take more than a
sword and the inspiring tales of his legendary idols to survive the harsh world
beyond Redfield. And the further
he travels into the night, the darker he gets.
Tarnish is a
grittier coming-of-age story than you’re used to, where destiny is forged, not
written.
What kind of hero would you be?
The Prince of Luster and Decay
In war, men don't only fight
the enemy. Sometimes they must also fight themselves.
Sergeant Knox leads the Head
Knockers, a unit of scout-saboteurs in the war against the Dread Duke and his
armies. They are the favorite squad among Captain Brighton’s Stormwalkers,
until an ambush kills the Captain, half the company, and Knox’s best men.
Now the new Captain has new
orders. He’s sending the Head Knockers
to investigate the possible source of the attack. The town they find appears empty, but there’s
something waiting for them there. And
they’ll need both heart and steel to defeat it.
This stand alone, sword and
soldiery novella gives a glimpse into history of the fantasy novel Tarnish.
*
How did I do? Any suggestions?
This last one I didn’t change
at all. I’ve already hurt myself too
many times trying to fix things that weren’t broken, so I exercised restraint
this time. I’m just including here as
another example. The first line here is
more about including key words and comparison stuff to say, “If you like these,
you’ll like this too.” The tagline is
the second paragraph.
Hungry Gods
Avengers and
Watchmen meet The Walking Dead and Pulp
Fiction. Spandex adventures for
adults.
Superheroes. Undead.
‘Nuff said.
The
country’s premier superhero team is missing.
So when a mutant monstrosity goes on the rampage, it’s Spitball to the
rescue! He’s a third-string hero today,
determined to be first-string tomorrow.
And the Army may be giving him just the chance he needs. Spitball’s been invited to undertake a secret
mission into America’s heartland. What
he’s about to discover, however, is not a chance at stardom but a horror movie
come to life...
Hungry Gods is a fast-paced adventure of costumed superheroes,
government conspiracy theories, and flesh-eating zombies.
*
I am far from an expert, but
I thought I’d share my learning process with the world and see if anyone else
has some advice, or maybe even benefits from my experiments.
In either case, let me know!
