Friday, May 10, 2013

Tweets from the Battle Field

Eldar and Chaos and Space Wolves, oh my!

I have played a couple games in the last few weeks against J and his mighty forces but haven't had time to write up a proper battle report.  Well... I still don't.  Which is why I thought it might be fun (and trendy) to just write it up as if it were a series of tweets, keeping each spurt of information brief. 
(Note: I hate twitter and everything it stands for and have no actual experience on it but...  seems like a "cute" way to do this today so let's take a shot at it.)

Space Wolves (J) vs Chaos Marines (me) 1500pts.

Chaos led by Thorbolg Wolfsbane the renegeade Wolf Lord (counts as Huron Blackheart) and Tzeenchy DP.
Space Wolves led by Bjorn the Fell-handed, runepriest, and WGBLeader on T-wolf.
Sabotaged obj seized by cultists, explodes kills and routes cultists. cowards to be executed later.
Giant mecha-crab destroyed by long fang missiles and Bjorn’s plascannon before it can wreak any good havoc.
Thunderwolf cav attack and hold thousand sons, raptors, and cultists for 3 solid turns b4 finally dying.
TWolf mounted WGBL hero and raptor champ kill each other in duel.
Bjorn’s plasma cannon incinerates obliterator.
CSM possessed by daemonettes kill 15 f-wolf pack, then Greyhunters in melee.
Runepriest kills possessed champ in duel, eventually finishes other possessees with runic wpn.
Daemon-slaying hero runepriest shot in back and killed by sneaky plasma gunning CSM.
Long fangs spray frag  and krak missiles into chaos ranks, thinning out the enemy.
Bjorn challenges Wolfsbane (Blackheart) to duel. Chaos hero’s bionic arm dismantles ancient dread before he can even attack in unexpected victory.
Wolfsbane’s dark reward for killing oldest living space wolf – wagging tail (nil result on chaos reward roll).
Grey Hunters assail rooftop with  plas and bolter fire, killing obliterator .
Wolfsbane standing in doorway spurts fire at passing lone wolf, playing with him.
Lone wolf with p-fist and s-shield avenges Bjorn with instant death wound on Wolfsbane.
Lazy Daemon Prince hangs out in reserve til turn 4, letting others do the dirty work.
DP comes in just in time to eat Lone Wolf, then game ends.
By some dark miracle most fodder cultists survive battle.
Last surviving raptor of TWCav assault does suicide dive into greyhunter squad end of turn 5 & survives to contest obj.
Coward cultists return to claim obj in turn 5 for win.
End: Chaos with 2 obj plus warlord and 1st blood, SW have warlord kill and contested obj. Chaos victory.

Dark Eldar (J) vs Eldar with Ork pawns (me) 1500pts.

Game was weeks ago, can’t remember well… big guns never tire – hvy choices as scoring.
DE led by Archon and Succubus.  Eldar led by Farseer and Avatar.
Dark reapers bite it first turn.
Wraithlord and avengers shoot up and bring down wych transport.
Wraithlord whipped to death by wych and succubus agonizers.
Avatar slams venom to the ground, then splintered to death by DE warrior poisons.
Dire avengers bladestorm wyches, reducing to one survivor (who grabs obj).
Swooping hawks excel for first time, kill DE scourge in bird-duel then thin out warriors with las-fire b4 being eaten by talos pain engine.
Guardian jetbikes more useful than usual, still die though.
Striking scorps bring down raider transport with chainswords, then cut down warriors that were inside.
Reaver jetbikes buzz over ork mob, slashing off  heads.
Orks turn and eat reaver jetbikes, riders, bikes, and all.
DE jetfighter nukes guardian jetbikes and elder ground troops with missiles.
Three pronged finale (last turn):

Scorps vs talos for obj control – scorps lose and route, get slaughtered by talos in sweeping adv.

Orks think they can shoot down DE jet – Orks wrong.
(But did get a glancing hit with slugga!)

Farseer (painted warlock)  and dire avengers vs archon and court – eldar routed and killed in sweeping adv.
By end of turn 4 (or 5?) Eldar wiped from board - not a single model remains.
END: Dark Eldar with 2 obj, warlord kill and 1st blood.  Eldar with 0 objectives. Dark Eldar victory.

Maybe next time I'll try to do it as if they were actual communicae from the battlefield as the fight is on... Hmmm..... could be fun.


  1. Awesome! It's cool that our victories go back and forth as much as they do; I credit our unparalleled abilities in fluffy list building.

    1. The fluffiness makes for good storytelling, thus we MUST have good battles!